Friday, October 29, 2010

Fiascos 22 and 23 True-up

click on the spoke card to see some pix...
First, Fiasco 22 in September:

Greetings from your lazy FBC correspondent. First of all, a sudsy thanks to Sol, engineer of Fiasco 22. Defying all geographic laws of cyclo-physics, he proved that to go North, one can indeed go South. In so doing, upped the ante for future rides and casting a bright flood lamp on how lackadaisical I’ve become in planning out routes. NO MORE, I say. So, I put together and actually led Fiasco 23.

Anyway, Fiasco 22 took us down to Belmont, back up to Ravenswood, far west then North to Roger’s park and ultimately the bar Sovereign. Distance-wise, I think the yardstick should now be that the ride should continue about 2 miles after the first people start bitching about it being too long. Bring some beer for fuel and pee on a tree you wimps. I even witnessed what was dubbed “shrub-piddling” demonstrated by several of our venerated female riders. Well done!

Sovereign is a class-A dive. It simply lives up to its name because it rules. **eyes roll and a sigh** It’s got a sweet curving bar and the whole place is narrow in the front and wide in the back, just how you like ‘em. I can’t remember any jukebox, but surely there was one. We made the bartender’s night. One of his friends bade him farewell with a sarcastic “yeah, have fun on your slow night!” Cheap beers flowed and a full moon rose over, well, whatever street that was:

And then... (click on the spoke card for Fiasco 23 pix)

Learning from Sol’s mind-bending directional prowess, I took Fiasco 23 on a South-to-go-North ride as well. We coursed through Hannover Park, south on California and dove through a small riverside park between Addison and Belmont that I’d never seen until several days before. Wooded and dark it’s a trip at night. During the day, I think there’s even a BMX trail tucked in the trees somewhere. Check it out. We snaked northward without incident and about 50 minutes into the ride, my beer-soaked brain lead everyone astray. Mistaking 6200 north for 6900 North, I hung a right and dumped us all out at Sheridan and Hollywood. It’s one of the biggest and busiest intersections in that part of town especially on a Friday Night. While I contemplated my next move to get us out of the fix I’d gotten us in, PJ darted to the front and led everyone on a left turn that gave me a sigh of relief. To the besotted brain, the simplest solution isn’t the one most easily arrived upon.

The ride zigged and zagged. Streets, alleyways, underpasses and finally, Duke’s Hideaway. SAFE! The main impetus was to check out Roger’s band, Paper Thick Walls. They rocked, so we showed them our asses:

Considering that more drinks were needed and the bar was closing, those with stomachs of iron geared up and made a short trip to Oasis for some darts and brews. You know how you can get a baby to stop wanting the chocolate by pointing out a puppy? Yeah, that’s the way I was with the darts. Everyone was safer after I was distracted from them with big sweaty pitchers of beer.

No injuries, all cool. See you next month!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Full Moon Fiasco XXI true-up

I'm having a hard time with hyperlinking or even posting a link, so to see some pix, go to my page (DanaW and the FBC) on and check out my albums.

Ok, back at it again here on the blogspot. It's hard to know where to begin after so much time off from these updates. The biggest reason (other than my laziness) was publicity. Due to a spot in the Chicago Reader, June's ride exploded to about 80 participants, which is cool. The part that wasn't cool was that with this came a fuckstick named Trevor, trying to start fights. Lucky for all, Trevor had his ass turned inside out by 3 rugby players along on the ride and we haven't seen him since. The event put me off doing any sort of outgoing messages, etc. BUT, everything's been gravy since as we just keep drinking, riding and keeping shit positive. Yeah.

Our last ride was a good one. Turnout was small in July, but our numbers were back up to about 40 for August. Amongst the throng were quite a few regular faces and a handful of new ones, which I'm always pleased to see. Sol and Ed lead us south to Ogden, calling a few audibles along the way to make the route more interesting. Without any delays, we arrived at the Twisted Spoke to continue the beer intake. The rooftop was open and we had just enough time to drink a beer up there before they shut it down.

Shortly after midnight, a call was made for an extra credit stop. W Cut Rate Liquors is a neighborly Polish joint on Division not far from there, serving $1.50 PBRs and my personal favorite when in that part of town, Okocim.

The late nighters danced, and I learned that armpit punches don't feel as good as one would expectl, we snapped off a full moon shot...

...played some pool and closed down the place at 2 before massing up our separate groups heading off to diferrent parts of the city. All in all, a tremendously kickass ride.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Full Moon Fiasco XVII true-up

---click HERE to see some pix---

Fire, Malort, The Pink Sash, instant karma and a nearly thwarted full moon over Clark Street photo: makings of a good spring ride.

The initial challenge of this ride was to try to incorporate the cooler-than-shit FIRE JAM, which takes place at Foster Beach every full moon. Laura took the reins in organizing a pre ride out there and brought with her 2 outrageously cool FBC flags. These flags then rode out the rest of the night like huge tail fins on her bike.

While Laura and company were watching fire twirlers, blowers, spinners, we sat on our asses at Gannon’s Pub enjoying some of the city’s finest brews. Once the fire jammers arrived, we wrapped things up and headed on a circuitous route to Andersonville led by PJ and Michael. A perfect night for a ride.

Not long after arriving at Simon’s (which is an excellent joint with a copious beer selection), the Pink Sash of Shame came out of hibernation and was awarded to Darin. I think the story months ago was that he was going to miss a ride because his (now ex) girlfriend’s cousin had a birthday dinner party the same night. This is exactly the sort of activity which merits the Pink Sash.Excellent.

Lo and behold, Malort made another appearance to some Malort virgins. Surprisingly to some, it was enjoyed. Personally, I wasn’t surprised. It’s the sort of experience you’re not going to forget.It may turn your face inside-out for a brief moment, but it is enjoyable nonetheless.

An attempt at thwarting the now-institutional FULL MOON PHOTO ultimately failed. We headed out to the street and set up directly in front of the bar. Not a moment after an array of bare asses aimed at the camera like a firing range, the door guy came outside. This ass-hat actually attempted to hide 25 bare butts with outstretched hands. The bartender even got involved, but after we were already on our way inside. This of course set in motion a discussion on guerrilla-style FULL MOON PHOTOGRAPHY in the future. At any rate, here you go. Full Moon over Clark:

Last, but certainly not least, instant karma struck a rider in the form of pavement to the face on the way home. You know who you are. A rider, to remain nameless for the time being, thought it a good idea to knock down construction pylons while weaving between them. When reaching the end of his obstacle course of gleeful destruction, his attention diverted just long enough for his front wheel to twist and he made a pitch to the pavement. More or less unscathed but with bent handlebars, Sir Unnamed Rider made his way home. Congratulations.

AND, for a late addition. Roger has become our second unofficial (only since nothing is really official with the FBC) cinematographer. Check out this vid:

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Full Moon Fiasco XVI true-up

----Click the spoke card for some pix---

After a short furlough, the blog is back on two wheels cruising the streets of the internet, sipping a PBR.

Scads of folks showed up at Gannon's considering the cold. All told, we had about 24 which would likely be about twice the number last year. Summer rides top out at over 50, so this was a great showing. Go FBC, kick some ass!

Anyway, had a bunch of new faces and a bunch of old faces were missed. We passed a quick time at Gannon's then took off south with Marcus (returning to his role as ass-captain), PJ and someone else...I forget who...leading a cool route down Elston. For part of the ride it seemed as though we had the city to ourselves. Not much milling about going on south of Fullerton on Elston for certain. Note to self and others: a good stretch of street for some organized sprints.

We made a quick stop at the Hideout for a refueling stop but found it closed. While there, we found a dude packing up from a photo shoot on the street. Apparently this guy takes photos of himself all over the place while wearing a bubble suit. Had we shown up a half hour earlier, his latest opus would've featured THE FUCKING BIKE CLUB. That would've been sure to seal his fame in the bubble suit photography circle.

Locking up outside the Matchbox, I couldn't help but do a rough estimation of the amount of space we took up outside the bar and whether or not we'd fit into the smallest bar in Chicago. Elbow to jowl, we crammed into the joint. PBRs and the Matchbox's famed margaritas poured across the hardwood. The regulars were soberly determined to hold what bar real estate they had. One guy made me think of the indignation of Walter Sobchek in The Big Lebowski: "I'm finishing my fucking coffee."
One last word about those margaritas: they make you see through time.

Self-appointed co-ass captain Marcus gathered everyone still there late on the median of Ogden Ave for a good photo. There's no bubble suit, but I'm not sure if that one butt is waving a white flag or holding a note. I'm thinking it was something involving a faulty wiping technique. At any rate, hold your breath for the Full Moon Over Ogden Ave:

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Full Moon Fiasco XIII true-up

---click the spoke card for some pix---
Happy new year everyone! And Happy Birthday to FBC Chicago!

ALSO, check out the great year-in-review video Aaron Bussey put together. The last few minutes are super sweet. Thanks Bussey!